Nothing says "internet savvy" like deliberately spelling a simple word like laserbeams to sound either cute or add the net jargon accent. Lolz.

 

And before anybody says anything, I was not actually laughing out loud. It's called irony, dolts. But no matter. I actually have some interesting stuff to report (heaven forbid) and one is the reason for the title.

 

I am getting glasses.

 

Therefore by the rules of anime, I will become superintelligent and aloof while wearing them. I may also gain a new hair color unnatural for humans.

 

That's a lot better than the rules of hentai, in which I would become an irresistable stuck-up bastard with a hidden agenda that always involves the mattress mambo, with wads of cash and power to boot. Also possibly supernatural abilities that for some reason all revolve around sex.

 

...wait, I actually think that's a BAD thing?

 

Oh dear lord. I've been tamed.

 

Meh, had to happen sooner or later. At least I still get to eat pie.

 

While in Casuarina with Sai last week (and chatting with Jer for a little while for good measure) I finally decided to get my eyes tested. Forty minutes and one Medicare card later, I am informed that I am indeed shortsighted; my right eye more so than my left. They're both in perfect health so yay, but in the meantime I will be needing glasses for reading, outdoors and distance - so pretty much all the time, in other words. I am however still legal to drive without glasses; but only just.

 

Saturday ws V's birthday; to celebrate Sai and I and a host of others had dinner with her at Tim's Surf and Turf in the city. Afterwards we went clubbing - well, almost. Already I was a little jumpy, as I usually am around hordes of people and drunks; but after some suspicious bloke bought V a drink, the bartender himself brought it over and warned V that the guy in question was suspected as a spiker. Add to that the pretty young girl green in the gills and vomiting everywhere behind the Fox and Fiddle, and my self-destructive desire to go out and get sloshed had settled somewhat. That and a few other instances....

 

One of which that as a birthday joke, V passed me her party tiara; a glittering plastic thing with pink and neon blue fuzz, and told me that as her birthday wish I had to wear it for the whole evening. I thought that was a great idea and put it on; and kept it on too. However, one of V's friends, one Michael, would not leave me the hell alone. And I don't mean making jokes; I mean constantly telling me that I actually looked great in it and if anyone said anything he would protect me. And after he jokingly called me a princess I curtly pointed out that sadly, I wasn't HIS princess. While that provided all present with a good laugh and yours truly with a small amount of satisfaction from nailing the jerk to the wall, he just would NOT shut up after that. I found myself wondering if this guy was actually gay and trying to hit on me in the hopes I might be gay myself and therefore inclined to leap on him, or if he was just a colossal tool. Regardless I'd had enough and with the other events of the evening I was quite happy to throw in the towel.

 

Sai and I volunteered to wait with one of V's friends who was also going home and had to wait for her brother to come and pick her up. While doing so one guy who was so drunk that he could barely walk staggered towards us with a slurred "hey girls I love ya" before nearly falling over and his equally-drunk friend dragging him away. Now personally I didn't perceive either of those lushes as a threat; anybody that drunk can't coordinate a punch worth a damn, and I wear steel-capped boots. But both Sai and V's friend jumped; and in the latter case hid behind me. The one thing I AM glad for in this case however is that I am by no means in possession of a weak-looking body frame any more; and having nearly ninety kilograms of paranoid and irritated Neko glaring at them may have been what made Tweedle Dum drag away Tweedle Dumber. I was kinda disappointed; because I would love nothing more than to flatten some drunk fucker who decides that my wallet is an easy grab. But then again, had ANYONE tried anything with Sai or anyone I was protecting (aforementioned friend in this case) I would probably get a little overzealous.

 

That is to say, I would be going home in a paddywagon, and the other guy would be going to the hospital.

 

Once said friend was safely home, Sai and I walked to our hotel room - Sai suggested we stay the night in the city; partly in case we were both too drunk to catch a bus, but more because staying the night in a nice hotel room is by any standards a romantic and intimate night to oneselves. Our room was very nice; a little small but well-decorated in just my taste (although I would peg this down to sheer coincidence than anything else) with a great view of the city and harbour from our balcony; since our room was on the eighth floor. So once we'd had some time to relax a little from the evening and enjoy the view, we made the most of our hotel stay. In the morning once we were both able to drag ourselves out of the comfy double bed we went and had a full buffet breakfast in the first-floor restaurant before catching a bus back home.

 

All in all a very pleasant trip out. My birthday isn't even for another month or so and I'm already planning to drag everyone out for it... although perhaps to a different restaurant because showing up to the same one three times in a row may be just a little creepy.

 

It's a little late and my new ocular enhancement device will be arriving sometime tomorrow, so I'm going to bed. First however I will have to steel my courage and kick Sai off my couch; which is probably going to end quite badly for me.

 

Don't mourn me, at least I'll die doing something I love.

 

Screaming in terror.

 

With so much to explain, I am enabled to easily escalate into endless and indomitable entrophy.

 

Translation: I am about to die.

 

I'll put the news in chronological order, for the sake of convenience more than any actual dictation of commen sense or logic.

 

First off, Sai is now staying here with me on a semi-permanent basis. Without going into too many details, Sai's mother Leaf went off the deep end and kicked her out. Already I had a growing dislike for her due to her tendency to start arguments over insignificant things and then try to play the victim (best instance was over the consistency of a curry Sai made); but in my eyes she's gone too far this time. The only reason I haven't thrown a stream of constant and vulgar verbal abuse in her direction is because a) Sai asked me not to, and b) it won't help in the slightest (even if it makes me feel better). So Sai has been here for the last week or so. Uni has started and so she's very busy; and at one point she will have to go "home" to retrieve the rest of her belongings (with me in tow if I have any influence over the matter). But aside from that she's coping admirably; except of course with all matters pertaining to Rastus and her litter tray, which is so noxious I could kidnap the cat in question and file a patent for a biochemical weapon delivery system.

 

My monthly visit to Max Employment turned up nada. I was assigned to a new clerk, whose idea of her job involved getting people in, lined up for an interview and out again. How I love people who take public service jobs for the prestige than the actual task of helping people.

 

What this culminated in was an arranged interview for a job as a bar attendant in a suburb on the other side of the city, with less than three hours to get there using only public transport. And to add further insult to injury the clerk in question booked me in to come in two weeks later instead of a month, for her own convenience.

 

If she'd bothered to read my file, she would have seen that although yes, I have experience in the hospitality industry, I HATE IT with a burning and molten passion unseen outside of the city of Jerusalem; that my skill, motivation and knowledge all apply to the IT industry; and that I am undergoing counselling for mild anxiety issues that pertain to large crowds and high pressure.

 

So, to humor the idiot and also to ensure my grocery bill would continue to be paid, I grudgingly caught a bus to the establishment in question, Sai travelling with me to keep me company. All in all the interview went quite well; the owner of the place was straightforward and very polite and friendly, and I had no problem returning that courtesy. I was offered a trial but turned it down for several reasons; and all of those being ones that the Max Employment clerk had been dishonest about - in my case my location, the fact that I DON'T have a car, and that I CANNOT afford an eighty-dollar-a-week taxi bill to get home after dark. This ended quite well; and included in my being warmly told that if I ever found myself living closer to the establishment to call in and ask if my services were still needed. All in all I left the building slightly disappointed (mostly with my circumstances) but in otherwise high spirits.

 

The next day I caught a bus into Casuarina to meet Sora and say hi. The plan was to meet up with Sora and say howdy-do before meeting Sai and the three of us sitting down to catch up, because hey, it's always nice to catch up with friends even if they're ones you get to see very rarely. While in there however we ran into Chan, which was and is always an added bonus.

 

While waiting for Sai I explained her situation to Chan, who was actually quite pleased; she and her boyfriend, who I shall call Sword (as his real name I first saw in a sword-related SNES game) are moving soon and looking for a third person to share the rent. Once Sai arrived and we relayed this fortunate turn of events (mildly hurt as I was at the idea of Sai moving out again) we chatted with Sora for an hour or so before heading to Chan's apartment to wait for Sword to get home from work.

 

When he did we all sat down and talked (and in my case joked about our previous meeting; Sword and I were acquainted some eight or nine months ago; soon after he and Chan met) and much to my fortune and delight, the idea that perhaps *I* should join in the renting fun was suggested. Even more so when Chan wholeheartedly agreed (and added a delighted squee when I said I had a Wii console, and a bar fridge that I was more than happy to add to the communal resources) and Sword smiled his approval. So we are now househunting, for a three-bedroom house (although an apartment is feasible depending on the size, location and such) for the four of us to move into within the next month. I am also rather pleasantly surprised as Sword is more of a kindred spirit than I originally thought; he is a Terry Pratchett fan, amateur game designer and aspiring video game musician - as is yours truly. So this is going to be a very grand thing indeed.

 

As Sai and I waited in the supermarket queue yesterday evening to pay for our groceries, I peered over into the newspaper display rack (as I am wont to do, on the offchance that the daily rag actually publishes something interesting, relevant or both) and nearly fell straight into it - a close friend, one that I have known since 2002 - was on the front cover.

 

He has been arrested and jailed, as Australia's youngest child predator.

 

Allow me to put this in perspective. Said friend - whom I shall refer to as Bale - and I go way back. We have known each other since I started Year 9 at a particular high school and we were still close friends until only a year or so ago. We were the same age, in most of the same classes and helped each other out; I helped him study for and pass his exams for two years running, and he dealt with every moron who ever gave me the slightest form of trouble. Lunchtimes were often spent sitting on the concrete in the shade, talking about whether Spiderman would kick Batman's arse or vice-versa, or about the latest movie that had come out and what we thought of it, and debated the merits and shortcomings of our country's politics. When idiots came into earshot we would swiftly transform the conversation into one of anarchy and terror; discussing the simplest and most cost-effective way to blow up a building and what lethal firearms were best for crowd control just to see them beat a hasty retreat; whereupon we would both piss ourselves laughing. He came over my house often and we'd play with my dog (which mostly consisted of just being in the same area, Odin being as utterly balls-up insane as he was) and a couple of times we went to the local shopping center for lunch. We played pranks on each other, helped each other through difficult times, the works. To summarise, he was a very close and trusted friend, whom I would defend and protect with no question.

 

We grew apart when I moved to New South Wales; and although I was back within two months the damage was done. Bale was becoming someone that I found vexing, and I someone he was starting to find timid; so after one last meeting in Casuarina we went separate ways. In a sadly finalistic and corny final moment, we both erased each other off our cellphones.

 

Now, this is the part that is responsible for breaking my brain over its knee. A valued and treasured friend, with whom I share a great deal of history and whom sees the world as I do, has been jailed for, ironically, one of the very things in this world that I despise the most.

 

In a way I'm very glad I severed all ties; because having the Australian Federal Police knocking on my door with a search warrant and five armed police is not something I'd like to deal with in my lifetime; and that would have almost certainly happened had my number been in his cellphone when they went through it to obtain a list of all people he was in contact with. But at the same time I'm in denial of sorts. I mean, this is someone who was once MY best friend. Someone who I liked and trusted because he was one of the few people I could count on not to do something completely and utterly retarded.

 

For fuck's sake, he HATES kids.

 

Given the newspaper headline though I've had no choice but to disregard that memory. People DO change over time, and it's sad to see someone you once held so dearly fall so very far from grace.

 

I still think he hasn't got the brains or concealment skills to be an actual child predator. Going by how well I know him and what he's like, I can say with some confidence that it was his lack of common sense and bad sense of humour that have landed him in seriously hot water; that the charges are more due to self-caused misfortune than a deliberate and meditated crime. But this isn't about what he meant to do; this is about what he has done and for that I will brook no argument. This is his own stupid fault and he damn well should have known better than this. As much as it saddens me to say it, he deserves whatever he gets. But even so I find myself hoping that he doesn't meet dire injury or demise at the hands of others while incarcerated behind those concrete walls.

 

I called Green and Ma today to let them know. Green looked up to him somewhat and Ma liked him as he was always polite and well-mannered towards her. Both were as floored as I was.

 

Ma is going to call in approximately twelve hours (so 4:30 tomorrow afternoon. Yes I have an archaic way of dividing one day from another, if you don't like it then stiff silicon) because at Sai's request, I asked Ma if she would like to talk to her and her answer was a surprised and delighted yes. I'm actually looking forward to introducing those two, even if only over the phone. I haven't told Ma that I was able to spend the day with Dad last week, or that I've seen what my nephew Ron looks like. That will be something that will require every ounce of tact and diplomacy I possess (and given my upbringing that's quite a significant amount).

 

I'm going to go to bed in a moment; although I think before I do I'm going to pour a glass of whiskey.

 

 

To valued and favoured friends; however fallen from grace. To the memories we keep, even after time and time again they are shown to be nothing more than exactly that - a memory of a dead and forgotten time. And to the coldness that comes with seeing someone so loved transform into something you hate with all of your heart.

 

To Bale. The one thing he'll never have.